A client recently wrote me an email and asked me this question. Her question got me thinking about boundaries and energy and how to maintain personal space and protection. This is her question and my answer given to her:
“I have a question. How do you manage guilt? How do I go about stopping these guilty feelings for not doing something someone else wants me to do or not doing something I want to do because of the pressure from someone/something else?”
Well the short of it is this: It is this about boundaries and maintaining them. Some people are like energy vampires who try to suck all your energy and “feed” off it. This may be through emotions (guilt); physical (all of the sudden you start feeling sick) or spiritual (you for no reason start to feel despair and hopelessness). If we don’t have firm boundaries others may try to consciously or unconsciously steal or borrow our energy to make themselves feel better and put their “bags” on our back and relieve themselves of their own weight or garbage. As I continue my own journey in life I find that most everything in life starts with energy and the battle we fight is not of this material world, but of a spiritual (energy) nature. Remember you cannot control what others do or how they feel, but can only control how you will respond and what you allow others to put on you. Honestly ask yourself, “Am I being selfish? I am I only thinking of my needs or is what this person asking me to do legitimate or not?” Be silent for a moment or two and see how you feel physically and emotionally. Do you feel peace then with saying no, trusting your inner voice of wisdom? Ultimately it comes down to believing in yourself, knowing you are a good person and want to give your best. Sometimes giving our best is saying no and taking time for ourselves to recharge and conserve our own energy, not letting someone else suck it from us to suit their needs. When the time is right to say “Yes!” there will be joy because you know it is coming from your heart not because someone is trying to steal it from you.