I was recently in a session with a client and she said, “I am afraid one day people are going to figure me out [i.e. colleagues and upper management in her career].”
In essence, what she was referring to is- I really don’t think I am that great , that I am not perfect; my façade of perfectionism will be blown. My client bringing this topic up really struck a deep chord with me and what countless other clients seem to feel at their core, but do not know how to put into words. Ironically, this client made this statement with perfect truth. I believe we all feel this on some level and to a large extent is what drives our anxieties, anger, fear and depression. We all have an innate need to be accepted, to fit in, to be liked and admired. The problem is we are for the most part looking for this acceptance outside ourselves instead of within; we are outer directed instead of being inner directed and this is what fuels our pain.
The first step in resolving this dilemma is accepting who we are and where we are no matter what is happening in our lives at the present moment knowing we are not alone, that so many others have the same fear of “being figured out.” We are not superhuman, but mere mortals (at least the persons I have seen who have come into my office thus far) and revealing our fears and weaknesses to others actually sets us up to be great leaders, it gives others permission to be human. By revealing our humanity we connect with our fellow humans in this world and come to understand we are all connected, faults and all, and it is my belief that this revealing of ourselves is what actually sets us free!